Finishing and asking myself am I too happy to run now?

It was the 24th of April when I finished the Couch2k5 which was very nearly a month ago now. There are a couple of reasons why I haven’t blogged about it since.

Me after finishing!

 

The first is because I wanted to do a video blog. Much of my experience with running is centred around the river which I live on and lap around; a lot of it is visual and I wanted to share that with you through a visual medium. It is still something I hope to do in the future when I finally have some video editing software on my computer.

Secondly a few days after I completed my run, I got a job. The weight of this will only be truly understood to my nearest and dearest who witnessed and listened to my troubles and woes for the three months running up to it. Throw in there a couple of successful dates and my birthday, it’s been a chaotic month…

I really struggled to keep positive during the months of unemployment and rejection. It was a period in my life I will never forget and in many ways it was completing this program which pulled me through. Even when I had no money, when I had been rejected from another job, or another man, running was something I could accomplish; if I did nothing else with my day but do my run, I was a step closer to completing the Couch25k. There were runs where I would cry on the walk home because I couldn’t believe that I had actually done it. So much of me felt like I was failing at that time, but through running I dug deep to find the stronger girl within me.

I overcame a lot of mental obstacles around that river and it will always be a special place to me because of that.

Within the space of a week my life went from being quite shit, to being really very good. I got a paid six month internship with an arts organisation I love and I have been successfully dating again, with no tories in sight! It’s funny, I have felt like I have been in a bubble the last three weeks and inside I feel like someone is going to pop it; it feels too good to be true.

In this chaos and happiness though I must admit running has taken a back step. Last week I joined the gym with my sister and I am still swimming, so I have been exercising. But hitting the open road has become a weekly, Sunday morning activity.

And today’s run was so difficult. For one, I hadn’t run since last Sunday so I was a bit out of shape and for two I have not been well this week so I was struggling to keep my breathing regular. But inside I couldn’t help but think to myself, am I too happy to run now? So much of my running was about chanelling all my emotion and anger. I didn’t have to do that as much now, was this why I was struggling?

Although slightly disconcerting, what I also realised today was how much I bloody love running and I never ever EVER thought I would feel like that. I said to my sister the other day there is something so brilliant about hitting the pavement and running freely in the city. Unlike the sterile atmosphere of the gym, running in the streets has an enjoyment beyond simply excersising for me now. You become part of the rhythm of the city and there is nothing like the supportive smiles you get from fellow runners and passers by.

So with this in mind I think what I need to do is progress and push myself again, so I am going to go for the 10k.

Thanks for reading and if you would like to sponsor my Race for Life  you can do if you click HERE

 

 

 

 

 

Some “hot tips” and an incident with a big, grey dog.

I’m now onto week 7 of the app which means my standard run is now 25 minutes. I completed the first one of the three yesterday and I nearly threw up.

After four days not running due to, mainly a stressful job related situation, running for 25 minutes was awful. So after 6 weeks of using the app  I thought I would summarise a few coping mechanisms I have learnt along the way:

1. DON’T LEAVE BIG GAPS BETWEEN RUNNING- As I said above, leaving days between your runs is a dangerous move, especially as a starter because every new run is a challenge anyway, it just becomes more of a challenge if you haven’t moved your body in a few days. If you have to leave gaps (I once had to leave a week due to a bad knee) I would advise repeating the run you have already done before moving on. A warm up if you will.
2. CHANGE THE PLAYLIST- I have found some weeks more challenging then others and, on the more difficult ones I have found changing the playlist really helps. It keeps your running fresh so it’s not a monotonous A-B situation where you’re waiting for Born to Run again because you know you’re hitting the cool down. Much about running I have found is distraction; new routes and new music is key.
3. DON’T RUN INTO THE WILDERNESS- Although I think keeping a new route is a good thing for running, I have on a couple of occasions ended up in difficult situations by running in a new area and basically starting to panic because I realise I don’t know where the hell I was going. There was one particular run which springs to mind where I decided to run around Kelham Island on a Thursday night (St Patricks day) With the drunks and the dark back alleys, this was a bad move ESPECIALLY when you get to the later parts of the app because you have NO BREAKS so sometimes end up circulating on yourself, like a dog chasing its own tail.
4. DON’T EAT THEN RUN- I have learnt through my own mistakes how important it is to leave a gap between when you eat and when you run. Not only does it cause “stitches” but on the more difficult runs I have had, I have very nearly thrown up afterwards and I put that down to (predominantly anyway) the fact I didn’t let my food digest enough before I set off. 2 hours is a minimum, I think for bigger meals wait 3 hours if you can.
5. DON’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE- One of the best things about running for me is that I can completely switch off from everything else. There was one run in particular though that I found very difficult and I remember for the first time I kept checking my phone to see how much longer I had to go. Afterwards I read some of the forums and one woman said that this was the worst thing to do because mentally you can go a lot further than you think you can. Since reading this I have never checked my phone when running and I can safely say it has been a lot easier for me to keep going. Ignorance is bliss.

And just to leave you with a funny image, during my 22 minute run last Sunday a big, grey dog lept over the field towards me and started circulating me as I ran along. After initially shitting myself I just kept going (I didn’t really have a choice) and the dog ran back to its owners. 30 seconds later however the dog repeated the process and I genuinely had a moment of thinking I was going to die as this big dog bounded towards me. I looked up to the owners with a sort of “f**king help me” face and all I could see was three figures bending down, clicking there fingers and waving their arms trying to get this dog to back. Being a dog owner I had been there myself many a time. I knew the routine. Eventually the hound retreated.

One of my favourite places in the world. To many it is a field, to me it is “The Heath” I try and take selfies after every run but genuinely this is the only one where I look remotely ok and I think it is mainly because you can only see 2/3rds of my face (also filters are a blessing)

Week 3 and 4: “You looked like absolute sh*t.”

After a week off resting my knee, week 3 felt like a real challenge. I had a sneaky look at what was coming and I found out I was going to be running for 3 minutes at a time (so far 1.5 minutes was as far as I had gone before a break). So I was anxious for my first run though I completed it and I felt like an absolute champion.

One thing I learnt on week 3 was that mentally it was useful to give yourself “markers” in your run. After a while you start to pick up on how long it will take you to run to the bus stop for example, or to the middle bridge on the river. These “markers” are really useful to have when you are running because you know you can reach them and they provide you with small mental challenges as you go.

I went into week 4 feeling confident. Before my first run of the week, as I always do, I checked what I would be doing and the game had well and truly stepped up. I was being told I had to run for 3 minutes (with only a 90 second walk) and then run for 5 minutes (with a 2.5 second walk).

Dread is the word that springs to mind. I can safely say that week 4 run 1 was by far the worst run I have ever done. Although completing the exercise, I walked home thinking that I was actually going to be physically sick. I was immediately transported back to those horrendous cross-country lessons that I hated at school.

As my sister bluntly as ever said “You looked like absolute shit.”

In preparation for the 2nd and 3rd runs of week 4 (I genuinely thought I was never going to be able to do it again) I created a new rock playlist which I can safely say helped immensely. I also left my hoodie at home and went out in a thinner long sleeve top which allowed me to keep a bit cooler.

The second run went so well I came back like the cockiest little devil you know, throwing my keys onto the table for dramatic effect, shouting ” effing bossed it” to my sister and Tristan. Because of this episode I locked myself out of the flat the following day with my Aldi shopping. The higher beings had firmly put me in my place..

 

The glory of a playlist

 

I had a good chat with my friend Sophia at the end of last week as she had started her own training in prep for July’s Race for Life. Being the slightly more tech savvy of the two of us, she had discovered that she could play the music stored on her phone while using the app.

Now as a music obsessive I thought there must be a way I could do this, but I couldn’t get my head round how to get music onto my phone without a cable. In my defence I have only had this mobile about 2 weeks so you know, it’s all a bit new.

I found out that the songs the app had been playing for me while running were the ones that came with the phone (some terrible, terrible songs. I mean “lift music” would be a compliment) Anyway with the glory of dropbox I was able to basically download a selection of music I love and have been listening to recently.

My playlist went as follows:

1. Ryan Adams- Bad Blood
2. Clique- Kanye West ft. Big Sean & Jay Z
3. Inhaler- Foals
4. Kathleen- Catfish and the Bottlemen
5. Make Me Wanna Die- The Pretty Reckless
6. The Answer- Savages
7. The Blacker The Berry- Kendrick Lamar
8. What Went Down- Foals

I must admit it feels bloody good to run to hip-hop. Like, the alter ego/ inner Beyonce comes out and channelling the anger that I find pushes me that much further when running, is really aided through tracks like Clique and The Black The Berry. However for momentum alone, rock is the way to go. Of this list the best song to run to by far is Savages-The Answer (I saw them live in Leeds last Tuesday and their energy was quite a force to be reckoned with)

Like everything in life, it’s better with music and good music at that. I’ll come up with an ultimate running playlist before the end of this thing because I mean why not.

P.S I had a run on Sunday and got a slight twinge in my knee. Anyway after some thorough googling I decided to give the running a rest over the last few days and have been doing some stretches. On paper that sounds a lot more “pro” than the reality which was a few “10 ways to stretch before running” YouTube videos and resting a bag of peas on my knee. Can safely say though, I am now fully recovered and I am borrowing my sister’s more legitimate running shoes and buying some cod liver oil tablets to hopefully prevent further injuries.

Week 1: Falling in the mud

The end of week one is over and I am happy to say all three runs have been completed. Here are three things, thoughts possibly “tips” that I have if any of you give a damn:

Get the bloody app:

All other attempts at jogging failed for the very fact that I was trying to go from zero to hero. This app (Couch to 5K) plays for 30 minutes each run- the first 5 you spend walking or “warming up” as they say, and then for the next 20 minutes you spend changing from 60 seconds of running, to 90 seconds of walking. The theory behind this probably has some scientific purpose that I am too ignorant to understand, but for me it means mentally I feel like I am getting somewhere. Unlike before when on finishing a 5 minute jog I would end up hugging the nearest lamp post like a child clings to its mother at the school gates, by the time I feel like I am going to have to dig a bit deeper, the 90 second walk kicks in. Hallelujah.

Where to run:

City:

I started off running in Sheffield city centre and thankfully, due to the fact I was running at night time, most of the businesses around were asleep, so the fear of running into lots of people was diminished. I actually discovered a lot about the area just by walking around it, including the fact there is a bus that stops right near the flat. I came back bloody freezing, but I was happy.

Country:

Being in my home town of Chesterfield over the weekend where there are more green areas, I headed up to the fields behind my secondary school for my next two runs, a location I have been to several times over the last few years drinking and listening to Kate Bush with my friend. It was also where we used to do “cross country” at school which I genuinely shudder to think about. Having being cursed with the worst cold I have had since 2013, I spent the majority of the run wheezing and snorting like a boar, so I appreciated the secluded environment. There were also some lovely dogs, which frustratingly I could not stop to stroke. You also get views like this:

Although this is of course nice, with the nicer environment what you also get is mud. On my first run I was very cautious about this, treading through the muddier patches with a sort of self-reassuring “bollocks” with each careful footing. Thankfully no incidents occurred however the God’s were not on my side on run three this morning. On trying to escape a dog walker I decided to bound up a hill with less caution than I should. Resembling the scene when Shadow in Homeward Bound attempts to escape from that ditch near the railway tracks, I slipped back down the mound coated in mud:

The worst thing about this was that I was only on run 2 of 8, meaning I had to continue to run like this for 20 minutes, not in the muddy seclusion of the field, but on the busy roads of Chesterfield.

Learn to laugh at yourself:

I remember when the door shut behind me on my first run and there I was in an old t-shirt, a pair of leggings and some crappy trainers and I just thought, can I really go out in the freezing cold looking like this? Thankfully I had actually locked myself out and even though I knocked on the door in a panic to get my hoody, my sister didn’t hear me, so I just had to leave. For the first run I was very self conscious; every time I saw someone approaching I prayed that the app would tell me that I could walk. But ultimately what I have learnt is that you just have to learn how to laugh at yourself. Do you look like a tit? Yes, yes you do. But ultimately you are doing something good and most people I think (hope) will be looking on and thinking good on you.

Couch to 5k

In 5 months time as of tomorrow, me and a group of my closest female friends will be taking part in Race for Life, completing a 5k run in what will probably be a rainy Manchester. There are many reasons why we have decided to do this. Like most people who take part we all have loved ones who have been affected by cancer and of course it is in their honour that we will be running.

There is also another reason. Currently I am in a a post-university-looking-for-job lull (if you want to know more about the last few months, check out my other blog here) I am floating in an overdraft and spend most of my days sat in front of the computer bookmarking and applying for positions which I, thus far, have had no luck with.

So I started off February on what I called a detox. I decided to give up alcohol (my only vice), I committed to swimming at least twice a week, have consumed no takeaways and am dedicated to positive thinking. That’s right, I have been actively forcing myself to be positive everyday since February the 1st.

Jokes aside, this “detox” as I call it, is really a way of tricking myself into some sort of routine and prevent myself getting low about my current life position. It is also a way of me getting, for the first time in life, “into shape”.

I am a UK size 16, which is not classified as “plus-sized” (seriously who the hell thought that was in any way a good way of putting it?) but is on the very edge of the spectrum. I have always been around this size actually, and always been, like most women, very self conscious about it. However over the last couple of years, I took steps to improve how I felt about my body. I took up swimming, much to the surprise of my Mum who remembers me doing everything possible at school to get out of it, and have maintained a slightly better weight since (I still love food).

I was heavily inspired by the This Girl Can campaign that circulated about a year ago because it really reflected my own experiences with sport.

I can only speak for myself but I was always really put off exercising because I was scared what people would think of me. I was too body conscious about it and I think a lot of people have felt, and feel, the same.

This Girl Can showed how brilliant exercise can make you feel and dare I say how much “fun” you can have. I wince writing it, but truth be told I have had some laughs swimming, mainly with the older residents who I tend to accidentally join for their lunchly swims (I call one group of women “the hens” and am known as “young-en”) And yes on getting out the pool you may liken to a seal dragging itself onto the shore much more than Halle Berry emerging from the ocean blue in Die Another Day, but it doesn’t matter; swimming has not only made me feel a more fit, but has helped me mentally get through some very difficult times.

So I guess this is what is has persuaded me running might be another way of making me feel better. With this blog I hope to share some of my experiences whilst I take on this “couch to 5k” challenge, which as a complete non-runner who only ever attempts to run for buses, is going to be tough. More than anything it gives me something to do and will hopefully make you laugh.

I start tonight with a horrendous cold. Wish me luck.

(p.s if you want to sponsor me you can do here)